Resolutions

I LOVE New Years Resolutions...

Its probably because I'm a bit of an organizational nerd and the thought of make's list excites me. I'm also obsessed with "self-growth" and making plans for the future... so you can probably see how this Once a Year activity is kind of my baby.

I've already made my list of "what I plan to achieve in the new year", and I'm now working on the steps involved (you have to have steps! Just having a general goal gets you nowhere!). Once that's wrapped up, I'll be posting my list here for everyone to encourage and comment on. ;)


In the meantime...

I thought these comics were really cute:

 

 

 

HAPPY END OF DECEMBER!!!

New Blog Adress

http://autumnscolours.blogspot.com/

I've noticed a drop in readers since I changed my blog title and address. And I know that although my posts are showing on other blog feeds, the link is broken. I hope this helps!

~Autumn

Ouch!

Well ladies and gentlemen...


...after 14 weeks and a few days I FINALLY got a spanking!

(Photo from Archives... I'm sure I've used this one before, but I really like it.)

And I can tell you, much like yoga when I take a break, my body was NOT up for the challenge. In my head I thought, "I know exactly what this will feel like... and it will be sexy, and just what I need."

And it WAS what I Needed... but NOTHING like I expected.

First, no warm-up... 

we don't usually do that, but we were worried about time. And I think J knows that its a good way to snap me out of my nervous joking and more into a submissive state.

 

(Photo Archives)

Second, my bum did NOT expect it to actually hurt. No idea what it was thinking, but there was no "this is just like riding a bike" experience here...

(Photo Archives)

Thirdly, I was ANYTHING but submissive... I wiggled, I giggled, I called out, and one time I even "told" him I was "running away" (from his spanking)...






All and all, it was a lot more like this:

 

(http://imgur.com/r/Spanking/P5rpTQz) 

But it was exactly what I needed.... for about the LAST 13 and a half weeks.  ;)

Thank you, Sir. May I have another?

 

(Photo Archives)

Hint, hint

We are coming up on 12 weeks since our last "session"...


Halloween is 12 weeks EXACTLY actually.

So I thought I'd wear this:

 

(Photo Credit: http://www.thefilmcell.com/productimages/processed/v8427b.jpg)

They even have it...

in MY size!

 

(Photo Credit: http://img.auctiva.com/imgdata/1/5/3/9/8/0/1/webimg/652525384_o.jpg)

At least my BOTTOM'S Size!!!

He, he, he, he, he.... 

If the outfit doesn't do it, that last comment sure will!

Naughty, naughty... ;)

 

(Photo Credit: http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/361/8/5/sexy_witches_by_beckaiii-d5pd722.jpg)

Happy Halloween Everyone!

Losing myself

I'm sorry that this post is going to take a different tone than my usual writing. I've been gone for some time from blogland, living a life full of commitments and busy with activities. And I am hoping to come back with some regular consistency in December... but for this evening I am only here to whisper anonymously into the darkness.

I'm not looking for hugs or pity, I just want to say how I'm feeling... somewhere, out loud, where I don't have to worry about how people will react to it... I just want to give my feelings a voice.

I feel alone.

I am living a busy life, full of many wonderful things that I have chosen to be a part of. And although I realized too late that I committed myself to too much, I won't be changing anything for a few months, when most of the commitments have run their course.

...this is not the end of the world. But emotionally I am so wrecked.


I don't want to be a victim. I don't want to feel this raw about my life circumstance. I know that its only a matter of time... and yet, I can't stop myself from crying. I can't get over the fact that I am so used up and burned out that I feel like I've lost myself.

I chose all these great things to do, and now I feel trapped in a live that is living me... while I'm not actually living.


For months I have tried to slow down. I've tried to rest more, take care of life-projects that have always been thrown to the back burner, and yet I find myself getting busier and busier. Its like I'm rolling down a hill, picking up speed.

And this has become my identity. I'm the "busy one", "can't get into trouble when I have so much on my plate", "must be nice to have so much going on"... its not, I HATE it. I want to breathe. I want to ENJOY where I am, not rush to the next thing feeling less than prepared. Feeling less than worthy in every position I have.


But nothing that I say changes anything...

...I am my own guard and captor. I created this cell and I have at least two more months left to my sentence. I just hope my sanity holds out.