A New Chapter

My oh my, where to begin?!

It's been several months (much longer than intended) but I am happy to report that I am back on the scene and with a blushing bum to boot! Its been a terribly busy summer, with several long-term house guests, and coming off of a crazy year of studies, performances, weddings, and the like... I just needed some down time.

Tomorrow I'm about to take a trip up north and I'm looking forward to the slower pace of things for a little bit. There are several things that I have been doing or preparing to do, and although it's difficult for me to walk away mid-project, it will be good for me.

So... where do I start??


Let's dig right in with the good stuff!  =D

Today is (or was, as it is now past midnight) our 3-Year Anniversary!!!

Kind of amazing that we have gotten this far, but here we are. We have talk about wedding plans, but as it sits we're both too broke and busy to do much else than dream for the moment.

To be honest, things have been a bit rocky lately and I wasn't sure how much we'd be "celebrating", let alone talking... it's more from my end than his (yeah, yeah, big surprise), but I finally sat down and thought about things and came to a very different realization than I expected. And when I realized what I saw going on, I wrote him a letter and sent it to his email for him to process. What was lacking in our relationship, you ask? Respect.


Now this is a new topic for us... funny, given how powerful that word relates to the BDSM world... but it is. In the past we've had complications about sharing how we feel, showing love in the right ways, making time for one another. But more recently I started to feel a real resentment for him building, and that's when I realized what was going on: I was reacting to what I perceived as disrespect or lack of consideration, by brushing him off with rudeness, silence and disrespect.

So I told him what I thought... how I felt, and what I thought might help: Weekly Sessions.


Now I know that planned out sessions haven't exactly "worked" for us for one reason or another, but we DO have the scheduling down for once and we BOTH agreed that this would help with our current problem.


So... today... I received the First of our (long-overdue) Spanking Sessions!

 

(Image found on "google search"...)

Ouch!

Boy did he ever listen to me!

After our first discussion I sent him a "spanking guide" complete with a breakdown of how each tool we have feels when used, my recommendations on when to use each implement (as warm-up, for punishment, etc.), and other areas he had control over (wardrobe, length of session, positions)... after all, its been a while.

And honestly, after realizing what I did... I really felt like I deserved a full-out, red bottomed crying session.


Things didn't get that far today...

After all, it was our anniversary... and our first time back in the saddle. But I'm hopeful that we'll get there eventually. Lord knows I deserve it.



However, he did pay attention to my requests and much of our session looked a bit like this:

 

(Image found on Pinterest)

 
But it was more at THIS angle...

 

(Image found on Pinterest)

 

And it Ended even better...

 

 (Image from: www.sexypositions.net)

And  Sir got some sexy time too....  ;)

It was a wonderful afternoon together.

 

Friday Advice from Readers

So, I was thinking that it would be nice if a few times a month I did a little "reader's forum" on my blog. This would be a great opportunity to reach out to the spanking community and compare notes, maybe even help someone who is struggling in with something. If you have any ideas for group topics, please let me know.

Topic: Communication

This week I wanted to open on the topic of communication, specifically that of RESPECT. Recently my Love and I have been a terrible time communicating effectively. I was hoping that some readers out there might have some ideas as to how you can cue your partner that they are being disrespectful without setting them on the path of frustration.


A recent interaction...

Things have been stressful and we've both been a bit on edge. A few days ago, I joked with him during a phone call about 'watching TV' (of all things) and immediately he took offense. He tone changed and began to list off his defense to me on the topic.

This was about 2 minutes into our call, and while this transpired I was standing alone in a small, quiet shop. The only other person with me was the lady behind the counter who was avidly focused on me; her only costumer. I was uncomfortable continuing the call given the attention it was bound to recieve from my audience, and so I responded with, "Well... I'm gonna get off the phone."

"Please don't do that," he said.

 I said, "It sounds like you're upset"

"I am"

"Well,  why don't you get something to eat and we'll talk a bit later..."

He was not happy with this. He did not want to get off the phone. And what's more, he found me patronizing.

I had only mentioned the "eating" part because he had mentioned not having much to eat that day, and since that effects MY mood, it certainly couldn't hurt his. I did, in fact draw reference to this in the conversation a few comments later.

Later, when we had a chance to pick up our conversation privately, he told me he found my tone of voice to be demeaning. He felt that I was speaking to him as a though he was a "disobedient child." While my only intention was to politely drop the conversation until he could cool down.




Some ideas...

Stormy had posted a blog entry a few days ago that caught my attention. In it she said this:

[...] He came up to me and firmly placed both hands on either side of my shoulders. This is our code for "You are so in trouble" when we are in front of people. [...]  (Read the full post HERE)

That got me to wonder, if you can give a physical cue, couldn't we have a verbal cue to say "hey chill out" or "watch it buddy", or "you are aching for a spanking". (Yes, I mean cues for ME too!)

Now it's YOUR turn. Please share your ideas! 

What works for you?

How do you maintain respectful communication when you feel your partner has been disrespectful in some way? 

How do you tell your partner that their communication is becoming disrespectful? 

What are some other physical cues that anyone has used? (Can't hurt to have more ideas right??)