Friday Advice from Readers

So, I was thinking that it would be nice if a few times a month I did a little "reader's forum" on my blog. This would be a great opportunity to reach out to the spanking community and compare notes, maybe even help someone who is struggling in with something. If you have any ideas for group topics, please let me know.

Topic: Communication

This week I wanted to open on the topic of communication, specifically that of RESPECT. Recently my Love and I have been a terrible time communicating effectively. I was hoping that some readers out there might have some ideas as to how you can cue your partner that they are being disrespectful without setting them on the path of frustration.


A recent interaction...

Things have been stressful and we've both been a bit on edge. A few days ago, I joked with him during a phone call about 'watching TV' (of all things) and immediately he took offense. He tone changed and began to list off his defense to me on the topic.

This was about 2 minutes into our call, and while this transpired I was standing alone in a small, quiet shop. The only other person with me was the lady behind the counter who was avidly focused on me; her only costumer. I was uncomfortable continuing the call given the attention it was bound to recieve from my audience, and so I responded with, "Well... I'm gonna get off the phone."

"Please don't do that," he said.

 I said, "It sounds like you're upset"

"I am"

"Well,  why don't you get something to eat and we'll talk a bit later..."

He was not happy with this. He did not want to get off the phone. And what's more, he found me patronizing.

I had only mentioned the "eating" part because he had mentioned not having much to eat that day, and since that effects MY mood, it certainly couldn't hurt his. I did, in fact draw reference to this in the conversation a few comments later.

Later, when we had a chance to pick up our conversation privately, he told me he found my tone of voice to be demeaning. He felt that I was speaking to him as a though he was a "disobedient child." While my only intention was to politely drop the conversation until he could cool down.




Some ideas...

Stormy had posted a blog entry a few days ago that caught my attention. In it she said this:

[...] He came up to me and firmly placed both hands on either side of my shoulders. This is our code for "You are so in trouble" when we are in front of people. [...]  (Read the full post HERE)

That got me to wonder, if you can give a physical cue, couldn't we have a verbal cue to say "hey chill out" or "watch it buddy", or "you are aching for a spanking". (Yes, I mean cues for ME too!)

Now it's YOUR turn. Please share your ideas! 

What works for you?

How do you maintain respectful communication when you feel your partner has been disrespectful in some way? 

How do you tell your partner that their communication is becoming disrespectful? 

What are some other physical cues that anyone has used? (Can't hurt to have more ideas right??)