Silent Submission

My Sir gave me a spanking...

(Photo found earlier via google image search for "spanked bottom")

Things have been stressful leading up to, but not limited to, a family wedding that I had a VERY big hand in pulling together. With tension getting to a heightened state, I asked my Sir if he would kindly lend me a hand the morning of the event.

Unfortunately, we got into a disagreement the night prior... and I wasn't feeling very "submissive" when I called off suggested "canceling our session". He said to give it the evening and I could decide in the morning how I was feeling... (a very good idea, considering my stress point).

The next morning we met up. And although time was short, it did help.




We began jokingly (as we tend to do when it's been a while), he asked if I was "up to things" and I said yes. And with all lead-up aside, I slipped off my dress and was "tipped" across the bed.

As the spanking began, I felt my mind start to wander. Not away from the activity, but my mind is always racing and I found myself drifting in and out between "in-the-moment" and to the various tasks I was concerned about. As he spanked me, I deepened my breath and did my best to focus just on the space I was in.

I looked at the room I was in, I felt each slap as it descended upon my bottom, and relaxed my muscles and I breathed. This approach lead me to do something I have never done...

I was completely silent through the spanking.




I took every spank without a peep. And though my thoughts ran their usual course of "why does he always slap my one cheek more than the other?" and "I wish he would spank me a little harder, I can take it", but I decided not to say anything.

And I found through my in-the-moment focus & the release-of-control I gave by NOT telling him m every wish and experience while over his lap, the experience became very meditative.




Sir spanked me for some time, then checked in with me. He had become concerned that my silence was an indicator that I wasn't really in the head-space for it. I did my best to convey that I was indeed interested and open to a spanking, without losing my new-found approach.

Sir was good enough to continue.

He then asked me to stand so that my panties could be removed. When I stood, I asked him...

"Should I do it, or would you like to...?"

"Would you prefer?"

 "I... I would like to do what you want."

"This is for you, what would please you?"

 "To please you... I need for this to not be my decision. I need to not be in charge..."

He removed my panties himself, and I crawled over his lap for further spanking.





As the spanking went on, I felt as though I might cry. I couldn't place the emotion, only that I was close to a state of release - I wasn't upset, or mad, or disappointed, I have just never felt quite like that before.

Sir stopped my spanking.

Rubbing my bottom he asked if I needed anything... And very shakily I asked him if he would give me a hard, quick spanking... for a little bit. He agreed, and asked me to let him know if it was too much.

Then the REAL spanking began.

(Photo Credit: http://spankinkandsubmission.tumblr.com)

The spanking was really rough and I found it hard to hold still. Especially when he spanked my sit-spot. I found myself clenching as I rocked back and fourth over his lap. 

Sir did not stop at my reaction, he and continued right along with each well-placed slap. I did my best to keep quiet, but as his hand descended on my rosy, swollen bottom I started to yelp in little wordless grunts.

Finally... after what felt like forever, my spanking ended and I collapsed across his lap, panting from the vigorous exercise .

I felt relaxed, but also nervous. I felt the overwhelming urge to "serve"`Sir, but I didn't know how to tell him. I felt stupid and awkward in my new submissive state. I waited for his command...

 

(Photo Credit: www.blackplanet.com)

How could I ask him to have me serve him?

What if I was bad at it?

  What if he asked for something I was scared to do?

...We didn't have much time that morning,
and I have yet to "thank" Sir properly for my spanking...

But I'm hoping to find myself with a red bottom and a quiet mind soon.

Wish me luck!